Divorce Mediation Lawyers in San Diego, California

The divorce mediation lawyers in San Diego, California at Smith Family Law can help you and your spouse settle your divorce using mediation rather than litigation. With divorce mediation, divorcing couples attempt to settle their divorce with the assistance of a neutral third party to help them negotiate and discuss the many issues that can lead to disputes in a divorce. A divorce mediator can help you and your spouse:

• Distinguish between separate and marital assets
• Separate assets and bank accounts
• Reach an agreement about how to divide the family home or decide what to do with the family home after divorce
• Settle disputes about shared property where there is sentimental attachment
• Help you divide retirement accounts and pensions
• Help you divide debts and reach agreements about separate and shared debt
• Help you and your former partner craft a co-parenting plan that works for your children and family
• Reach an agreement about alimony
• Reach an agreement about child support

If you don’t want to end up fighting your divorce in court, the divorce mediation lawyers in San Diego, California at Smith Family Law may be able to help you. When you choose to settle your divorce through mediation, you can avoid a lengthy and costly court battle, maintain control of your divorce outcome, and find solutions that work for you and your family. Mediation is a private way for couples to reach a mutual agreement and finalize their divorce.

What are the Benefits of Mediation?

Meditation has many important benefits. Couples who choose mediation can often settle their divorce outside of court with the help of their family mediation lawyers in San Diego, California. Here are some of the benefits of mediation:

• You get to keep the outcome of your divorce in your hands. When you take your divorce to court, the outcome of any litigation is put in the hands of a judge. In cases like divorce, where some aspects of your divorce settlement may not be straightforward, often the outcome can be unpredictable. For example, judges make child custody decisions based on what they believe is in the best interest of the child. While situations involving domestic violence, abuse, or situations where the child may be endangered are more clear-cut, most child custody cases are ambiguous. Sorting through factors like a child’s ties to each parent and each parent’s capacity isn’t always straightforward. In ambiguous cases, where both parents are fit parents and both parents want custody, custody determinations might vary depending on which judge hears the case, depending on their own leanings and biases. When it comes to other decisions, like whether to award alimony and whether alimony should be permanent or temporary, the outcome can vary depending on which judge hears the case. When it comes to your financial future, and your children, you probably don’t want a stranger dictating your future. Couples who choose mediation keep the outcome in their own hands.
• Can save money. With litigation, you and your former partner will fight over the details of your divorce in court, each represented by an attorney whose job it is to help you get the best possible outcome in your case. This adversarial approach can be costly, in terms of legal fees and court fees. With mediation, you work with your divorce mediation lawyer in San Diego, California at Smith Family Law in a process that involves open communication and negotiation. Rather than racking up billable hours communicating through your attorneys via correspondence, and formal legal responses through the court, you and your former partner can sit down together, talk directly to one another, and work out a divorce agreement that works for you and your family.
• You set the timeline. When couples choose litigation, they must wait for a court date, and the pace of their divorce will depend highly on court dockets and court scheduling. When couples choose mediation, they have more control over the timeline of their divorce. You decide when to sit down and negotiate your divorce settlement with the help of your mediator, and you decide when you’re happy enough with the settlement to file. While you’ll still have to wait the required “cooling down” period after filing, many mediated cases can be settled faster than litigated ones because there’s no need to wait for court dates. You and your former partner decide when it’s a good time to meet to work out your divorce settlement with the help of your family mediation lawyer in San Diego, California at Smith Family Law.
• Privacy. If things get heated in court, everything you say and do happens in public, while if things get heated in mediation, your mediator can call a time-out, or even reschedule the meeting to a later time after you and your former partner have had some time to process things. Court records can be accessed by the public, while mediation is a private process. When couples choose mediation, they can often keep many aspects of their divorce private.
• Preserve your relationship. If you and your former partner have children, it’s important to remember that you’ll have an ongoing relationship with one another for the rest of your children’s childhood. While your relationship will change, it’s better for you and your children if it’s a good one. The mediation process can often set the important foundations for a good co-parenting relationship.
• Finding mutually beneficial solutions. In a litigated divorce, most aspects of the settlement can feel like zero-sum-games where one person wins and the other loses. In a mediated divorce settlement, the mediation lawyers in San Diego, California at Smith Family Law, can help you and your former partner find solutions that are mutually beneficial. From everything to deciding on a parenting plan to dividing your assets and debts, the mediation lawyers in San Diego, California at Smith Family Law are here to help.
• Less conflict down the line. For a parenting plan to work smoothly, both parents have to be willing to comply with it. When a parenting plan is litigated through the courts, there is a greater likelihood of non-compliance, disagreements, and ongoing court cases. Mediated co-parenting agreements are more likely to be followed because both parties feel like they had a role in the agreement-making process.

These are just some of the many benefits of choosing divorce mediation over litigation. If you and your spouse are thinking of filing for divorce and are considering mediation, reach out to the San Diego, California mediation lawyers at Smith Family Law.

Is Divorce Mediation Right for Us?

For divorce mediation to work, both parties have to agree to settle their divorce through mediation. There are some situations where divorce mediation is not recommended. Here are some situations where divorce mediation might not be right for you:

• History of domestic violence. If there is a history of domestic violence or abuse, mediation might not be the best choice for you.
• History of coercive control. If your partner has been coercive or controlling, or if you suspect that they have narcissistic tendencies, divorce mediation might not be the best choice. Individuals who are coercively controlling might manipulate the mediation, resulting in an outcome no one wants.
• When you have fear for your safety or the safety of your children. Your safety and your children’s safety isn’t up for negotiation. If you are frightened for your safety in your relationship, or for your children’s safety, your priority should be to put a safety plan in place. Organizations like the National Domestic Violence Hotline may be able to help.
• Wealth disparity. If your former partner is significantly wealthier than you, or has more financial resources, divorce mediation might not be the best choice. You might want to speak to a San Diego, California divorce lawyer about whether you might be able to get your partner to cover your legal fees and other costs, to address these power imbalances.
• If your former partner is combative, always needs to win, or always puts you in a situation where you are “wrong” and they are “right” divorce mediation might not work out. Divorce mediation requires that both parties be willing to compromise and negotiate. Compromise cannot happen when one side is the one capitulating to everything.
• If your ex-partner has a history of financial or legal dishonesty, and you are concerned that they might be hiding assets, divorce mediation might not be the best path forward.

These are just some situations where divorce mediation might not be recommended. If you have questions about what path forward might be best for you, reach out to the mediation lawyers in San Diego, California at Smith Family Law today. Our divorce mediation lawyers in San Diego, California can review your situation and offer guidance about your next steps.

How Mediation Can Help Resolve Divorce Conflicts

Going through a divorce is often a hard process, and a protracted legal fight can only add to the difficulty. Communication between spouses is usually fractured, and having to negotiate over fundamental issues like child custody, property division and the financial settlement can easily exacerbate them. Mediation can serve a valuable role in helping to calm stormy legal waters.

Mediation is when a neutral third party works to bring two conflicting parties together by promoting a voluntary resolution of differences. Mediation attorneys are trained at facilitating discussion, seeing opportunities for compromise, and helping the spouses move closer to a settlement.

The state of California finds the mediation process so beneficial that it has mandated child custody issues at least attempt to be settled this way. This includes situations where a stepparent or grandparent requests visitation rights. However, even couples who don’t have children involved in their divorce can benefit from
what mediation offers.

If you’re interested in exploring whether divorce mediation is right for you, reach out to the divorce mediation lawyers in San Diego, California at Smith Family Law. We can help.

Advantages Of Mediation

Working with a trained mediation lawyer like ours at Smith Family Law, APC, offers several benefits compared to the alternative, which is hashing out the differences in family court and letting a judge decide. The advantages of mediation include the following:

• Mediation is cost-efficient – Every case is different. But it’s not uncommon in the state of California for the cost of going to court – of a contested divorce – to be four to five times more expensive than mediation.
• Mediation offers a chance for healthy closure – We won’t pretend that mediation lawyers are therapists or that mediation will heal all wounds from the end of your marriage. We’re not and it won’t. But the process that we’re trained to facilitate can offer two people a chance to bring an end to their relationship in a calm and peaceful manner. Closing one era of your life in a healthy way can be part of a new beginning.
• Mediation offers better scheduling – In mediation, you work out with your spouse and the mediator when you want to meet. Spouses are busy with work, home upkeep, driving kids around and any number of activities. The ability to have control in scheduling mediation sessions can be a big quality of life factor in what is a chaotic time for many people.

All of these advantages are why more separating partners are considering mediation over a lengthy court case.

How Do I Get My Spouse to Agree to Mediation in San Diego, California?

If you are still in the process of figuring out how you want to approach your divorce, you might want to sit down with your spouse and discuss the benefits of mediation. Share some of your thoughts about mediation and why you think it might be a better solution for your divorce. Mediation only works if both parties agree to the mediation. If your partner is unwilling to compromise, mediation might not be the best solution.

Consider agreeing to interview different mediators together to decide on a mediator that works for the both of you. If you have the financial resources, sometimes agreeing to pay for the mediator can help encourage a reluctant spouse, but remember that a mediator’s job is to remain neutral, no matter who is writing the check.

What Happens if My Mediation Fails in San Diego, California?

While mediation tends to be highly successful, sometimes communication does break down. If this happens, you and your partner are free to pursue a litigated divorce. That is, you are free to take your divorce to court. Some couples who struggle with the mediation process, might seek family counseling or other outside help to address ongoing resentment, anger, or other issues.

The divorce mediation attorneys in San Diego, California at Smith Family Law are here to help you and your partner reach a settlement. Sometimes that can happen in a few mediation sessions, but in some cases, especially with complicated divorce, more mediation sessions might be required. If you want to learn more about what to expect for your divorce mediation case, reach out to the San Diego, California divorce mediation lawyers at Smith Family Law today.

Will I Need a Divorce Lawyer in San Diego, California if I Choose Mediation?

The role of your divorce lawyer is to represent your legal interests and to offer you legal advice about any proposed settlement. The role of a divorce mediator is to be neutral, and to help you and your former partner negotiate a divorce settlement. Before signing any agreement that you reach through divorce mediation, you might still want your own divorce lawyer or personal family lawyer review it. Other couples understand that their divorce mediation involves negotiation and compromise and choose to only work with a mediator.

What To Expect In Mediation

Each mediator will have their own process, but the following general format will apply:

• Opening session – This initial meeting allows each side to lay out where they are at and the mediator to get a sense of the landscape.
• Communication – The mediator learns the areas where the couple may be at a serious impasse and looks to learn more about what they want, with the aim of crafting a win-win solution.
• Negotiation – This is communication taken to the next level. Now, real proposals and counter-proposals are exchanged. The mediator will be looking for possible creative solutions to areas that have been at an impasse. The “fresh set of eyes” dynamic can often result in a positive solution that might otherwise be missed.
• Closure – As mediators, we’re aiming for closure that ends with a settlement that both parties are satisfied with. However, it must be noted that sometimes closure ends with a decision by the spouses to take the dispute to family court.

Mediation is a great solution for clients that don’t want to go to court and an option we are always willing to explore with you.

Talk To Us About Mediation Today

Smith Family Law, APC, has spent over a decade immersed in family law. That means both knowing the details of the law itself – details that can be significant in getting you the best possible settlement – and in knowing the struggles and pain people may be going through at a difficult time in their lives.

We know how to fight on behalf of your interests, and we further understand that those interests are holistic, from your children to your finances to your home. It’s all on the line, and we’ll work hard every day to give you smart, tough and compassionate representation. Call our San Diego office today at (619) 431-3131 or contact us online to schedule a consultation.